Title: The Red Roses are... Disappointed.
Author: warumono_girl
Band/Pairing: KaixRuki (Gazette)
Theme: 9. Disappointment (30emotions)
Rating: PG
Warnings: none.
Word Count : 442
Summary: Feelings shouldn't be kept locked on our hearts, by more than one reason.
Anxious >> Surprised >> Bewildered >> in Love >> Calm >> Excited>> Lustful >> Pitying >> Distressed >> Restless >> Disappointed >> Grateful




9# Disappointment
Ruki’s POV

I can't suppress the empty felling inside me when I wake up, look at the clock and realize that you still haven't come home. The digital numbers says that's almost 10 past midnight, and you're not here yet. I should have expected it when you said that you probably couldn't make it home in time for the dinner we're supposed to share together. Still, it hurts. At times like that I just wished nothing more than you near me, don't care about anything else, nor the candles that have been blow away ages ago, or the cold food on the plates, nor the perfect still cups of wine that should have been emptied tonight.

I was just a bit sad that everything that I put my efforts on to make you happy was probably ruined, but what makes me real depressed is the coldness of sleeping here without you. I tried to phone you five times already, and every one of them your mobile seem to have been shut out, you have probably forgot to charge it, knowing you. Even then, I can't help but to feel frustrated that our celebration became a shallow and cold evening.

Looking at my ceiling I try to suppress the sadness that want so bad to claim me. I'm feeling so stupid, a bit of me is angered at you for not make it on time, even knowing that it's not your fold, it's weird, like I didn't have control of it, I don't want to be mad or sad at you, I just want you here, and noticing that, I realize how spoiled I am, for you've always have been there with me, not only now, but always. Whenever I needed someone, was you that approached me, which soothed me to sleep after the cracking nights, urging myself to calmness after his departure, hurt and broken on the floor.

You were always there, telling me for granted, always waiting for you to come and fix me again. Sometimes I'm so afraid to not follow your expectances. That I'm not what you need, that you're with me just to fix me, like the angel you are.

I let a sigh escape my lips and turn myself to face the door, waiting for you to come, saying a little sorry, and smiling at me, lifting away this shadow that insist on following me. Slowly I close my eyes to patiently wait the soft click of key in the lock, warning me that you're here with me again, not to fix me, but to hold me.

I just wish that I can be enough to you.






Title: The Red Roses are... Grateful.
Author: warumono_girl
Band/Pairing: KaixRuki (Gazette)
Theme: 14. Gratitude (30emotions)
Rating: PG
Warnings: none,
Word Count : 537
Summary: Feelings shouldn't be kept locked on our hearts, by more than one reason.
Anxious >> Surprised >> Bewildered >> in Love >> Calm >> Excited>> Lustful >> Pitying >> Distressed >> Restless >> Disappointed >> Grateful





14# Gratitude
Kai’s POV

The first thing I noticed when I get to your place were the living room lights on. Didn’t I tell you that I was going to be very late ? After all the stress you’ve been through, I though you would be dead asleep at your bed, wearing that angelic and peaceful expression that you had last night, after you fall asleep on my arms. I didn’t expected though the breath taking scene of a home made dinner getting cold at the table, making company to two single wine filled glasses, and the very pretty red roses. I let my eyes take on that for a moment, quickly realizing why your tune was so sad over the phone this evening. You were expecting me very badly, you have gone to the trouble to do all this, and nothing like this even passed my thought, I’ve never though that maybe it was very important to you, this night, even more than to me, no matter how badly I’ve wanted you at me side.

With a soft sigh I walk near the table, only now realizing the little note over my plate. You’re so silly sometimes. Why would you write me a note when I clearly could hear anything by that soft voice of yours? Still, I’m very happy to find it, letting your words sink into my mind, and bringing with then not only the realization of the written words, but also the guilty to have ruined our special night, your special night. I feel some tears over my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. If someone has the right too cry now, it’s you, not me.

I let the note on the table, back to the original place, and just then I realize that the flat is deaf, no sound echoing trough it. I quickly scan over the living room almost missing your tiny frame, curling into a very small ball in the corner of the couch. It was a cute vision, as much as it was a sad one. I could have been there, embracing you, letting you bath in your well granted slumber on my arms.

I quietly got over you, and realize the dried tears on your face. I hope you didn’t cried much. What’s with me? I just want to see you happy smile, and all that I do is making you cry? I fell like an idiot sometimes, even knowing that’s probably not my own fault. I think that I just realized that now I have something else to cherish the most, and take care every single minute like my life depends on it, because, hell , it does.

I get on my knees and gently tuck some of your strands behind your ear, so I can just see your face clearly. I’m so lucky. Sometimes I can’t believe that after all this you’re here with me now, waiting for me to realize it. I let a truthful and sad smile rise on my lips, and taking care to not wake you up, I kiss your cheeks softly.

You can smile now, you know. I’ve realized it, and I never want to doubt or forget it ever again.
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2 more done, yay !

I’ve just got a brand new notebook from my father since 18 is my 21 b-day, I’m so happy!
These things are just too expensive here; I would never afford this with my pitiful salary.